Dear Mr Man on the bus,
My journey home takes approxiamately 18 minutes. Tonight so did yours. I understand that sitting for 18 minutes can be a trial for some. You looked very smart. Your dreadlocked hair was perfect. Your suit was immaculate and your shoes were the shiniest I have ever seen. You are a cool dude no mistake. I also understand gadgets are a must for any man about town. And your phone is a cool gadget. It too was a shiny black, very slim, small and sophisticated. I know this because you played with it for 18 minutes. It slides up and down. It works because you tried it - lots. It also has an MP3 player - nice.
One word of advice - the phone with oh so many extras surely came with headphones. Let me explain what these are. They have 2 small earbuds on the end of a wire. The wire connects to the phone and the ear buds go in your ears. You know, ears, the appendages you have each side of your head. One of your ears had a diamond in it if you are still confused.
At first Buffalo Soldiers was quite relaxing - its a jolly song with a nice beat. But Im sure your snazzy phone has enough memory for more than one song. On the 5th play, Buffalo Soldiers need to be speared by Zulu warriors.
People playing their mobile phone MP3s aloud in a public place is my new pet peeve. Especially the same song on the bus when I've worked 12 hours and I'm tired
So please Mr Smooth, shove your shiny, slidey phone that plays Buffalo Soldiers up your ass
Thank you
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4 comments:
For comedic effect, the phone should be placed on continuous replay before being placed in the offender's anus.
DREADLOCK RASTA.
i'm all for nice shiny phones, and i'm all for men looking smart, in a nice suit and shiny shoes. but i'm with you in the quest of getting people to use earphones...especially the chavvy kids that have their phones on a bit of string (yes i know they're called lanyards) around their necks while bouncing (i'm assuming they are trying to walk) down the street in their white shellsuit-esque clothes, playing stupid, repetative, generic music.
Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all day! I guess having my brain play snippets every now and then is better than hearing it in real life, played over and over for 18 minutes. Thinking about the line "the heart of the Caribbean" makes me feel almost warm, though! Woy yo yo, to you.
ROTFL. WORD!
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