I See Dead People

Death is a regular occurance in my job. It holds no mystery for me. I have no memory of viewing a dead relative and holding that thought in my head as the one dead person I have seen. Life is a terminal illness and it comes to us all in the end.

I've known for a while that a normal regular funeral would not be for me. No church, no faceless clergyman reminising about my life as if he had actually met me. Yet, funeral homes or crematoriums have not stirred me either. The thought of my family paying obscene amounts of money for a box for me to be burnt or buried in fills me with horror. I know what I don't want but not actually what I want.

Until today.

Discussing the recent death of a patient, our receptionist mentioned that he was having a woodland burial. I was intrigued and trusty Google came to the rescue.

Now I know exactly what I want

Bury me under the bluebells. I found a place near me. Woodland burial

And while Im at it, put me in something like this
Cardboard box. If I'm going to be worm fodder give them easy access. The cheaper the better. Seriously, I'm dead what do I care. I'd rather my kids spent the money on something useful - like vodka or pear cider.

Then again, I like this idea

Decorate the coffin yourself. Or get friends to do it. I'd like to think when I'm dead my mates would come along and set their artistic print on my box...Or I could hold a paint my coffin party.

If I died tomorrow, which I'm not planning, but if I did, I can imagine the drawings. Pear cider, matching underwear, boots.....

So, now I am assured I've got my exit all planned out. Now I just have to sort out the life I have to live until then.

Funeral was easier.....