College Valentines

I don't like Valentines Day. It's totally over commercialised. When you can buy a Valentines card for your dog, things are seriously wrong. Unless you are fucking your dog and then your problems are far more severe and you need help. Yes, it's true I have no man to spoil and woo me on Valentines Day but that really has nothing to do with it. Call me bitter and twisted if you wish.

Willow and I were discussing our aversion to Valentines Day and I mentioned I once had my very own romantic Valentine gesture. She encouraged me to blog it. So here it is...

I was 16 and in my first year of college. College meant more boys which was fun.

Christmas was the college ball and at this ball I snogged a nice boy. In fact, I think I snogged a fair few nice boys and the night ended with my very drunk boyfriend finishing with me, which saved me doing it, buts thats not what this story is about.

So, after this party we all used to hang out in college. Me, the guy I snogged, my best mate Ali, her cousin Andrew who was his best friend and a few others. Its ironic I can't remember the crushes name but remember Andrews but there you go, teenage girls are fickle. I hardly spoke to Andrew. I remember he wanted to be a pilot. He was, well, just there really.

Time moved on to February. The 14th to be exact. I walked into college and was met by a flustered Andrew who handed me a card and fled. I grinned, expecting it to be from his mate. I had after all spent 6 weeks flirting and using my feminine charms to snare him.

I opened the card. It was handmade. Not this guys style. It was beautiful. Not mushy or overly romantic, just beautiful. I opened it and there was a huge poem written inside. Song lyrics explained Ali, REO Speedwagon, one of Andrews favourites. And the writing was his...

I can't fight this feeling any longer.

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.

What started out as friendship,

Has grown stronger.

I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.

I said there is no reason for my fear.

Cause I feel so secure when we're together.

You give my life direction,

You make everything so clear.

And even as I wander,

I'm keeping you in sight.

You're a candle in the window,

On a cold, dark winter's night.

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.

I've forgotten what I started fighting for.

It's time to bring this ship into the shore,

And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.

I've forgotten what I started fighting for.

And if I have to crawl upon the floor,

Come crushing through your door,

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.

I've been running round in circles in my mind.

And it always seems that I'm following you, girl,

Cause you take me to the places,

That alone I'd never find.

And even as I wander,

I'm keeping you in sight.

You're a candle in the wind,

On a cold, dark winter's night.

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.

I've forgotten what I started fighting for.

It's time to bring this ship into the shore,

And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.

I've forgotten what I started fighting for.

And if I have to crawl upon the floor,

Come crushing through your door,

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

Can't Fight This Feeling Lyrics Artist: REO Speedwagon

So, is there a romantic ending to this tale of secret love?

Uh, no. I was 16. I shoved it in my bag and pretended it never happened. We said Hi in the corridors as usual, the group eventually grew apart and it was never mentioned again. Yes, I was a bitch but really, it wasn't going to happen.

Now I realise how sweet and romantic it was. And I feel bad. So, I'm taking this opportunity to apologise to him. Of course he won't read it. Last I heard he was a pilot....