Shamelessly Stolen from a Sheep

What do you think of Me?

Just fill in the blanks with the first thing that comes to your mind

1. I__________LISA
2. LISA is_________
3. When I think of LISA I think of_________
4. I want LISA to________
5. If I were alone in a room with LISA I would__________
6. I think LISA should________
7. LISA needs to_______
8. I want to_________LISA
9. If I could describe LISA in one word, it would be_________
10. LISA will_________
11. LISA can_________my________
12. I hope LISA will never_________
13. I_________LISA because_________

Things that make me go ewwww

Oh Dear God..

Children like nothing better than to dress up in their parents’ clothes. Now you can put those old clothes that no longer fit you to good use by creating a whole new wardrobe for your child, and save yourself lots of money at the same time!



Use the ideas and instructions in this revolutionary book to create girl’s dresses from men’s shirts, jumpers from slacks, cardigans from sweatshirts, dresses from skirts and knit shirts, jackets, skirts and hats from sweaters, hooded vests and backpacks from sweatshirts, and much, much more. Plus, once you get the hang of renovating your old clothes into new outfits, you’ll be able to create a multitude of styles and designs from your own ideas!

It's not often words fail me but what the hell? Anyone who thinks this is a good idea is truly not fit to procreate - the book should be retitled:

"Ways to ruin your Child's life Forever" - 50 ways to ensure your child is ridiculed and friendless for the whole of their childhood. Oh, and gets food thrown at them

And another thing - slacks - Ive bolded the word slacks

I hate slacks. I hate the word slacks, I really do. It makes me cringe almost as much as the words peel-off face mask. I know, I have issues....

Now I have a feeling Americans use the word slacks for any casual trousers. But to me, it brings up memories of trousers worn when I was growing up. They were in the foulest of polyester type material, elasticated waists and an array of garish colours. And pleats, oh god the pleats..

For pity sakes, these are for men! The blurb is enchanting though..

Though sometimes associated with a certain Florida look - we're talking more 'West Palm Beach Resort', as opposed to 'South Beach Versace' - one can not nevertheless deny that Sansabelt slacks are in a league all their own when it comes to comfortable men's wear, second probably only to the Scottish kilt. And as for style, well after all, you don't want a belt marring the sleek silhouette of a slinky nylon Nik-Nik and slacks, do you? In plum poly gabardine, these Sansabelt slacks have that smooth, flattering style, with horizontal front and welted rear pockets and a tabbed waistband.

Plum, Plum? They're fucking pink!! and, uh, slinky nylon nik-nik - are they talking about not marring the slinky silhouette of cock? Or is that just me?

My mum still wears them. In the house I may add - lounge wear. Hearing my mum telling me she's bought a lovely pair of slacks make me shudder

It's on my list. The list I have that tells my children when to kill me. Nestled in with sensible shoes and plastic rain hats, it's there.

What do you mean you don't have such a list? Surely you have the list.

It's a Sign

Helly has noticed that I have a hidden talent for being photographed unawares next to signs.

The first was taken in Paris on a friend's hen weekend (bachelorette party). Too many drinks 'cause kicking in the air, one more leads to temporary blindness

Hmm, I might add that Shaun IM'd me his comment to this pic - The sign says "Temporary Blindness" it depends on where you're looking - thanks cheeky boy..

When Helly and Shaun visited me in Wales, Shaun took a photo of me deep in thought and quite frankly looking goofy. Right next to a "Disabled" sign.

Then there's the infamous photo that got me in trouble over at Grab.com when I enraged the Christian Grandma Brigade by blogging my bottle blow job shot. That was taken under the "Celebrate Christmas Here" sign. And what better way to celebrate Christmas than with a blow job....

Then my trip to LA. Ev took a picture of me looking slightly wasted in the limo. I, of course, blame the jet lag rather than the drink. When we checked out the photos later, I'm strategically shot under a sign that simply says "Wrong"


And finally a pic that only Brian will understand. It's his favourite place from his years of puberty and sexual discovery, the Dairy. And next to it an advert for cigarettes, Newport Pleasure. For those that don't know, I live in Newport.

And some may say I'm a pleasure..

Lisa Does LA

Not to be confused with Debbie does Dallas...

Saturday afternoon I flew into a very hot LA to be met by Helly and Todd. Todd recognised me from my Myspace pic and said "Hi Lisa" - too cute. After a hurried never ending pizza and pasta dinner we got to Hellys place. She gave me 20 minutes to get ready - 20 minutes!!

Ev and Anna arrived in their "car" to pick us up and here came surprise number 1 - a limo was waiting at the end of the drive - too cool! Then surprise number 2 - flowers for me from Anna were waiting in the limo - I'm such a princess..

And so began the drinking - champagne was on ice and it would have been rude not to drink it so drink it we did

Ev had picked out a Sushi and karaoke bar in Hollywood. Anyone who knows me knows Im totally unadventurous when it comes to food but I did try the sushi

We then went to the karaoke room, which was empty at first but soon filled up. They were obviously regulars and were really good! I felt like I was at American Idol, some of them had fantastic voices. I of course sat and chair danced, there was no way I was getting up there..

Helly and Ev however did...

We did a lot of people watching, naming them as we tend to do. There was obnoxious guy who thought he owned the place, Hillbilly guy, so named cos of his checked shirt, cool guy who did a great male rendition of Oops I did it again and of course, cute guy. Cute guy, or Patrick as we now know him did a great lets get it on. I made the mistake of naming him cute guy and then the scheming began. I ended up having my pic with him after Helly practically threw me at him...

Whilst outside smirting, I met Ken from San Diego. He was also pretty cute. He dedicated a song to Lisa from Wales. He was however a bit serious about his singing and watching him throw himself on the floor would have been pretty funny when I was sober. Being drunk by now, it was hysterical. His name also made me think of Barbie...

Hysterical was also Anna's new friend. He'd been asleep wasted in the corner where we were sat and then turned over and made himself comfy on Anna

A fun time was had by all. For 4 girls who had never met, apart from me and Helly, we got on well. it was a great introduction to LA. Hillbilly guy kindly took photos of the four of us

We headed home and both helly and Anna took advantage of the luxurious surroundings of the limo

The middle pic is proof that I am a very loving drunk....

After dropping Helly off we ended our night at Evs

Thanks girls for a great night out!!

Update, kinda

I've been told off for neglecting my kids and not blogging

I will blog about my trip but probably not till I get home

But highlights of last night's Ninja karaoke

I had a limo - I am a princess..
I had flowers
I ate sushi
Helly sang as did Ev. Myself and Anna chose to support from our chairs
I gave a cute guy this blog address
They take karaoke seriously over here, I thought I was at American Idol
Ken from San Diego made me think of Barbie
I refused to dance with the Hillbilly
Anna ended up with a guy in her lap, passed out
I got Ev drunk

Photos to follow..

Im Hot!!

Someone googled Hot Tales of Lisa and got my blog

This amuses me

Thanks to everyone who sent me a pic of their Welshness. It was much appreciated. I will remember the ones that didn't and will make them play next year

I can't get this song out of my head so I thought I'd share

Oh, and a question - Does peanut butter go off? Just wondering. If it does, it's too late, I've eaten it.

World Domination

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus!

Happy St David's Day!

My quest for the world to celebrate St David's Day is starting slowly.

Lets start with me. This is how I went to work today. I then had my hair cut with people singing the Welsh National Anthem loudly in the pub opposite. I then went to see my parents, expecting my mum to have made Welshcakes, but alas no, I had to make do with choccy biccies. I came home to be told by my glum daughter that her house didn't win the Eisteddfod. But back to world domination....


And my daughter who wont wear traditional costume as she claims to be "too old" and wears her Wales rugby shirt instead

And here is Helly, from LA, USA, proudly sporting her red top to work - thanks Helly!

Brian, from Oregon, USA, has a Wales mug - he claims its full of coffee but we all know Brian...

He's also blogged about St David - thank you Brian!

Inog claims to have the first daffodil of his garden sitting proudly in his office. I will try for photographic evidence.

This is Khaled, Helly's friend from UCSB. He hails from Egypt and the USA and is ready for world domination

Next, Jenna from Canada looking cute in her red shirt and daffodil hairclip


And omg, I got an Englishman to celebrate a Welsh day - way to go Shaun, is that a smile or a grimace...

And Allan ( Helly's hubby) and their son Todd