An Open Letter

Dear street people,

I know it's hard doing your dismal, low paying, commission centered job. It really must be shit to stand in the centre of the city and accost people as they walk by, knowing full well they want you to just piss off and leave them alone.

Today it was raining, hard. It was blustery and it was hard enough dodging the flying shop signs and placards without dodging you as well. The cold, hard hailstones hitting my face and bouncing off my head weren't pleasant either. So, today no polite smiles, no shaking of head, no excuses I have an appointment.

I'm sorry I ignored you totally. But just so you know..

I don't want a catalogue

I don't want a credit card

or a store card

I don't want to do your survey

Yes, Ive had an accident in the last 5 years but no, I really don't want to sue a man who knocked me down in the hospital car park because he wasn't concentrating cos his dad had just died.

No I don't want to save the Whale

or the Mongolian white spotted Gorilla

or the pink striped Peruvian goat

or Chinese women with herpes

I don't want to join Greenpeace

or the World Wildlife Fund (you were pretty cute though, that's a very good advertising angle)

or the Socialist Party

I don't need an invitation to go in your shop, if I want to go in, I can get there on my own

Finally, and probably most importantly, I don't want God to save me and forgive my sins. No really, I'm sure he could save at least 7 people in the time it would take to save me.

All I want is to deposit this cheque so I can finally do my christmas shopping. And find a party outfit and a couple of pairs of jeans for this sulky, picky, ever growing teenager beside me.

You have a nice day too..