I'm going to be posting some of my favourite and most popular blogs from my previous blogs for the readers I have now that I didn't then. It will kind of introduce you to me and the way my mind works. It will also fill in the "blogged out time" I'm having....
I love my american mates - really I do - but there are things I just dont understand about you and your country
1. Your language - you guys speak English right?? So what happened!! When Christopher Columbus left did you think "nice bloke but geez he talks funny??Why didnt you like the u in so many words? Color, valor, favor you guys spell em all wrongYou call jam jelly - for years I thought you ate peanut and jelly (as in jello) sandwiches - ewwww!Biscuits are cookies, pavement is side walk, sweets are candy I could go on forever. Funniest of course, in a schoolboy humour (notice the u in humour??) way is fanny. Say you like a womans fanny over here and you're likely to get a smack in the face!!
2 Sport - I dont get your sports
American Football - what is going on there. Whilst I do appreciate the sight of mens thighs in lycra I just dont get the rules. You have 2 teams in one - one lot go on, the others come off. From what I understand you get the ball, throw it to the quarterback who runs across the line whilst all the others jump on each other - is that all the others are doing there - to just hit other players down?? And the padding - what a bunch of pansies - come to Wales and play Rugby - a real mans' game without the padding. This sums it right up for me
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
Baseball - again, sorry but I dont understand the rules or the scoring.Why do you have to make everything so complicated?
3 Your humour - you lot are funny, you really are, but why dont you get the british humour? None of our sit-coms are understood over there. An example is "the office" - bloody hysterical, a classic but you just didnt get it. You take everything so literally - you dont get sarcasm or dry wit at all
4 Americas obsession with looks - Okay i admit I'd love to be skinny and beautiful but would I spend shedloads of money on surgery to look like Barbie - no way!! Perhaps this is a bit unfair, Im sure you're not all obsessed - its probably the way the media portrays it over here but it is kinda funny
And finally, what exactly is Salt water taffy - Im asked if I like it all the time!!
Oh and one more thing - Mariah carey - I dont get her either
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1 comment:
Hi. Quick intro -- happened across your blog, quite randomly. Quite enjoyable. Now, to answer this post:
Salt Water Taffy is a chewy candy (yeah... "candy", I'm American); it's soft, chewy, sweet, and sticks to your teeth. I love the stuff.
And for the record, I love the British version of "The Office" (they Americanized here last year), and "Coupling" (own them all on DVD). Some of us do get the laughs.
And I'm with you, I don't get Mariah Carey either.
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