Hold Me Now

In the early hours of this morning I wrote a huge blog. I then deleted it. It showed too much of me.

It told of my hopes, my dreams and my fears. It explained where I was, where I want to be and how I'm going to get there. I don't think I'm ready to share that with everyone quite yet.

But I guess it was therapeutic. The thoughts have been swirling around my head for a while now and wouldn't let go. And now they're gone. Not completely gone, but tucked in my subconscious, at least for a little while.

In it, I justified my reasons for being alone, for not wanting to find someone else, for not joining the dreaded dating pool.

I don't need someone right now. Yes, theres things that I miss obviously, but seriously, you can sort that out yourself....

But what I miss most is not the sex (but hey, it would be nice!).

Its more than that. Its contact.

I miss hugs

I miss laying on the couch, head in someones lap, just watching a film..

I miss snuggling up in bed with someone on a cold Winters morning before getting pushed out when you just have to get up.

I miss a kiss on the head.

I miss an arm draped around my shoulder.

I miss holding hands.

I miss tickle fights.



But I'm still not going to go looking. Im too picky for a start. If I meet someone else they have to be perfect. Ive done it wrong once and Im not going to do it again. If my soulmates out there, I'll guess he'll just have to knock the door and introduce himself.


Or Helly, I'll just have to start getting cats - I don't fancy the other 2 options...